In my many years of travelling, including a lot of solo travelling, I’ve never had a problem with the local men anywhere I’ve been- from Jordan to Lebanon, Mexico to Zanzibar, the Philippines to Ecuador. The men I’ve encountered have ranged from polite, friendly, considerate, welcoming, rude, abrupt, flirty, annoying, kind, moody, apathetic .. but never overstepped any physical boundaries. I largely put this down to myself having somewhat of a naturally distant cold demeanour with strangers which comes with being an introvert which tends to keep people away.
I also ensure I dress appropriately for local cultures I visit – e.g. harem trousers and a loose cotton shirt which definitely helps, not that I believe in victim blaming as women should be able to wear what they want. But I have felt perfectly safe wandering as a solo female traveller to a variety of exotic destinations.
However, I had a recent experience on a flight of all places which shocked me. So here’s what happened… I got the plane from Istanbul to Tel Aviv and it was only about a third full- I had an aisle to myself and was seated by the window! Jackpot.
After buying an overpriced coffee and sipping away daydreaming out the window, I noticed an elderly man had gone to the toilet and was making his way back to his seat, but couldn’t get past the service cart and sat in my aisle while he waited for the service to finish.
I smiled politely as he sat on the aisle seat then returned to gazing out of the window. A few minutes later I realised he had shifted to the middle seat so now was sitting right next to me- and was staring at me I assumed out of curiosity. I’m kind of used to this when travelling especially when in the Middle East, in many cultures a female travelling alone isn’t the norm particularly among the older generations and so can attract some well meaning attention and questions. I again smiled politely.
He started talking away in another language I’m guessing Hebrew or Arabic- whatever it was I didn’t have a clue what he was saying and just repeated “sorry I speak English” I showed him my passport cover to try and explain. He then took my hand and began caressing it and smiling while yabbering away.
I didn’t think much of it I actually thought oh maybe he thinks I’m a relative of a holocaust survivor or something and that’s why I’m going to Israel and is showing his support, and didn’t really think anything of it just took my hand away.
Suddenly out of nowhere he lunged out to grab my chest. I was really shocked and taken aback, and firmly said “no go away” and pushed him away before he touched me, ready to scream or slap him if necessary. However I was cornered into the window seat with not many other passengers nearby. By this time the service cart had gone- no staff were nearby and he moved back to his seat a few rows behind me. I was then on edge for the flight and felt sick and tense.
So okay the incident turned out to be not a huge deal. But it got me thinking. What if it had been? What if it was a younger, stronger man? What would I have done? What could I have done?
I didn’t report the incident. Why? One reason is the staff had been rather unfriendly earlier and I didn’t feel comfortable discussing it with them especially as their English wasn’t great.
Another is I had no idea of what they would do if anything. Did they have a procedure in place? Did it depend on the staff member to deal with it as they thought best?
Another is that being an elderly man they might laugh it off or not care or believe me.
Being an elderly man maybe he had dementia or something and that there wasn’t any ill intent behind his actions. It was just so horrible having my physical boundaries impeded. Don’t get me wrong I’m not emotionally scarred for life or anything, but it wasn’t a nice experience.
I regaled a fellow traveller with my account and she replied that she has heard that sexual assault on planes happens a lot (and that’s only what is officially reported).
I pondered this.. and it makes sense. After all – rapists aren’t screened before getting on flights as far as I know. Not to mention those who haven’t been caught or convicted. Or the chancers. After all, you’re sat hours squeezed alongside a person you’ve never met. Was that brush of the leg really accidental?
I googled sexual assaults on flights and a range of articles popped up claiming that yes indeed sexual assaults on planes are on the rise see here.
Is this going to stop me flying or travelling as a solo female? Hell no but it does make me wonder what airlines are doing to prevent the risk and protect us as female travellers, and not just women but all travellers. I mean anyone can get on a flight. We are wary of terrorists and see airlines taking steps to prevent terrorist attacks (and rightly so) but what about rapists?
What help and assistance is in place on a flight for women and indeed men who experience assault and harassment on a flight?
How is the risk minimised? The space is so tight you’re often squashed up next to a complete stranger. This is the perfect opportunity for someone to “accidentally graze your thigh” or sit that bit too close making you feel uncomfortable.
So I’d like to ask. What are the airlines doing to keep me safe from being sexually assaulted on a flight? How much thought is put into who I am seated next to? And what are they doing to make me feel safe in reporting any potential assaults or issues? And knowing how to and who to report to before or after the event?
I had a think and here’s some potential actions that airlines could consider putting in place to make flying a safer experience…
1. More space in between seats
2. Consider sitting solo females next to other solo females
3. Cameras on planes
4. Awareness posters
5. Alert buttons so you can alert staff without having to scream down the aisles.
6. Clear policies for reporting such behaviour and consequences. I have no idea what the consequences would be if any and if they vary from airline to airline or cabin crew member to cabin crew member.
7. Female only rows
I’m going to contact various airlines and ask about their procedures in place and see if I get a response.
Have you got any stories to share of unwanted harassment or assault on a flight? Leave it in the comments below…
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